The New and Improved Pulse Detector: More Detection per Pulse January 13, 2016 08:21

Now, your common run-of-the-mill Pulse Detector has one function: to pick up heartbeats. The range increases as the trinket is upgraded to higher marques. With one of these bad boys, you won’t likely be snuck-up on any time soon. However, there are several features that this device lacks, and here at Spendo’s Gallery of Improvements and Prototypes, we have taken to answering the big question: What else can it do?

For starters, let’s take a look at the primary feature. Heartbeats are common enough, as the majority of living things have one. Trouble is, not all of the lurking dangers you’ll face will have hearts conveniently shoved into them. For the mechanicals and the bizarre, we have developed a new feature! The Heartless Monster-Detector will tune into the sounds that accompany most automatons and machines. This upgraded Pulse Detector will now display any machinery with moving parts. A handy tool for the aspiring thief or the less-alert guard!

Our next feature we’d like to look at is something of a no-brainer. With the ability to detect multiple heartbeats, and now machinery too, you may find it difficult to figure out what it is your Pulse Detector is picking up. Look no further! The Pulse Identifier saves you the trouble of guessing on the spot. This handy little feature measures the frequency of a pulse, and indicates whether it is organic, mechanical, or other. Now you no longer have to sit and wonder if your friend or coworker has been replaced with an automaton duplicate. Just turn on your Pulse Identifier and let the machine do the rest!

Finally we would turn your attention to this prototype over here. This is a marvel you won’t soon forget, or my name isn’t Spendo! This beauty of modern science is the answer to the oldest question in the world: Where did I put my keys? Search no further, folks! These handy, convenient, and quite charming Pulse Emitters will save you the trouble of searching again. These tiny devices can be attached to any surface, and will emit a pulse much like that of a heartbeat. This will allow the Pulse Detector to pick up the signal and, with the addition of the Pulse Identifier, display the whereabouts of your missing keys, tools, or other belongings.


Never live with uncertainty again, pick up your new and improved Pulse Detectors today! Our prices are so low, I’m practically giving them away!
  • Heartless Monster-Detector - 20 Princes
  • Pulse Identifier - 30 Princes
  • Pulse Emitters (each) - 5 Princes

SPENDO-BRAND: 91.6% GUARANTEED!